Jump to content

Civil flyghumor

Sir Vival

Recommended Posts

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.


(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)

(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.



P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.



P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.



P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Det låter som de gamal härliga "squawk sheets"!?



Litet som idag på jobbet, hittade ett underligt borr som jag aldrig sett förut.

Gick in till förrådskillen och frågade:


du, det här borret, vad använder man det till?

-Att göra hål med!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Enligt flertal som jobbar på en industri i närheten så har det funnits en rätt så rolig förrådsman där..



Mekanikern kommer till förrådet med en bult som är böjd och ber att få en ny.

Förrådsmannen tittar på bulten och säger: Vi har inga krokiga bultar här!


Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...